Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Karma and my Lucky Day

I'm a firm believer in karma.  What you give out you get back.  How you treat others is how you're going to be treated.  However you want to word it, I am a firm believer in it.  Most of the time I think about it in negative connotations.  As in, the person that got me will eventually get got.  The most obvious example I have of this is a woman I know who at one time sued someone for something that she knowingly participated in.  But the other person did break some ethical and moral rules so she had grounds....but she really didn't.  She was mad and wanted the other person to pay.  She won a good sum of money.  Several months later another person stole the money from her.  I'm not sure what happened to him, but in my book it was a clear case of karma.

What I don't think about often is the good that comes back to people.  If you put out negative and you get negative then it reasonably follows that if you put out positive, you get it right back.  It may not be today and it may not be tomorrow, but eventually, you'll get it. 

A few weeks ago we had a basketball tournament at my school.  I willingly volunteered my time that week-end to help out and I had to buy a $45 ticket to pay for the privilege to do that.  I did it with little complaining (and by a little complaining I mean less than everybody else - I did gripe about it a little bit.)  But I was there.  Two of the booths set up there had raffles.  One group was raffling off chocolate.  (Never underestimate the power of free chocolate.  Seriously) The other group was raffling off an iPad.  The chocolate was a free raffle, so it was no big deal.  I wrote my name and number down and went off to support the team I was hosting.  A little while later my husband calls me.  I won the chocolate.  Sweet!  The funny thing is..he put his name in 4 or 5 times.  And I won it with my one little ticket.  Yay me!!  But then hubby tries to steal it from me. 

High off my win of the chocolate (and the sugar, obviously) I decided that with that kind of luck I was going to buy $5 worth of raffle tickets for the iPad.  What the heck, right?  I was so sure I wasn't going to win it that I left my tickets at the house when we stopped by there before the awards banquet.  We live close by so I ran back to get them, but I almost didn't.  The time comes to draw the raffle.  My numbers were 429-434.  So if I didn't see 43 then I was probably out.  They call out 4-2 and then start back at 4 because this was a deaf basketball tournament and someone was writing it on a white board.  So they start again.  4-2-9.  Wait, what?  No way!  I won the iPad.  I became an insta-celebrity.  I give my hubby the chocolates.  One woman bought $140 worth of raffle tickets.  Seriously? 

Several people told me I should have gone straight from there to buy a lottery ticket, but I wasn't feeling it anymore.

Here's where the karma comes in.  I work my rear-end off at extra-curricular things.  Often paying for the privilege to do so.  Now, if it's something like the Christmas party or end of year softball game or something - minor stuff.  The odds of me showing up are slim.  Usually I've got a dr's appointment or a migraine or something. But the major stuff.  I'm there.  Other people, not so much.  They're there as long as they're required to be and that's it.  I don't get a lot of atta-girls from the bosses.  But last year I won 80 something dollars at our big 5 year celebration.  This year I win an iPad.  And chocolate.  Good karma. 

But now that I recognize it, I will never win anything at a school function again.  Oh well.  That's alright. 

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Time

I looked at the calendar this morning and had two thoughts.

1) Where the heck did the first two months of the year go?

and

2) Spring break in two weeks.  Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the passing of time has actually been on my mind a lot lately.  I'll be 40 in 36 days.  Wow.  Just...wow.  4 decades.  I was born during the Vietnam War.  I was a child during the bell bottom era.  (I had a pink pantsuit that I loved because it was just like Marie Osmond.  I know, right?)  I was a teenager in the 80's.  I seriously wanted Cyndi Lauper's hair.  Sorry Dad.  I was a young adult during the 90's.  Bill Clinton taught us how to use semantics in sticky situations.  Then in my 30's we got Bin Laden, 9/11 and Iraq and Afghanistan.  It'll be interesting to see what my 40's and the Teens will bring. 

Then I look at my own personal numbers.  20 years since my last open-heart surgery.  22 years since my first Al-Anon meeting.  15 1/2 years sober.  My oldest nephew is 17.  My oldest niece will be 17 on Monday.  My husband and I have been together for 10 years this coming May.  Married for 6 years this coming June.  Mom has been gone for 8 years this coming April.  My oldest granddaughter will be 6 in July. 

So what's the story with all this?  I have had the greatest joys and the deepest of sorrows. I've climbed mountains and I've dug myself out of valleys.  I've had times of comforting faith and other times of serious doubts. 

And the rest of the story is...I will have more greatest joys and deepest sorrows.  I'll climb more mountains and there will be more valleys.  I will have more times of comforting faith and more times of serious doubts.  And it will all be okay.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 - There is an appointed time for everything .  And there is a time for every event under heaven--

Monday, February 21, 2011

Crickets

That's what I'm hearing in my brain.  Crickets chirping. 

No, not really.  Actually I think there's soooo much going through my teeny tiny brain that I've been having a hard time focusing on one thing to blog on. 

Here's the highlights:

Expectations are premeditated resentments and Valentine's Day is one big resentment plot for me.  I've been with my husband for almost 10 years now.  I know the man pretty darn well and one fact about the love of my life is that you could fit his romantic side in a teaspoon.  Except every once in awhile he pulls something out of the hat that is so from so far out in left field he is automatically forgiven for every missed birthday/anniversary/Valentine's day.  This was one of those years.  I got a computer generated card.  In and of itself not that exciting.  Except for the words.  A lot of the time my husband is full of the blarney.  For example...his most recent wheelchair.  He told me in all seriousness that he had ordered a canary yellow pearl wheelchair.  I was horrified.  I mean, yeah, dude's gotta ride around in it, but I have to look at it and I was more than a little nervous at the idea of having to look at a canary yellow pearl wheelchair for the next three years because OBVIOUSLY!!  But when we go to pick it up....it's like a midnight blue pearl.  It's actually very cool looking.  It's manly but with sparkles.  Win/win.  But when it comes to matters of the heart, if he doesn't mean it, he doesn't say it.  So when I read his computer generated card...I cried. 

Spring has sprung.  West Texas does two weeks of winter a year and two weeks ago we had it.  Sub freezing temps for two weeks straight almost.  Frozen pipes, burst pipes, couldn't get warm, winter.  It's over.  It's been in the 60's, 70's and 80's for the last two weeks and it's predicted 70's for the next week.  I...love...it.  I've already started watching the mesquites for signs of them putting out leaves.  It's probably too early. We probably have one more freeze left.  But mesquites...I'm watching you.

If you haven't heard this yet...my 40th birthday is in April.  Read that part about expectations and resentments again. Guess where my brain is headed for my 40th birthday.  Some kind of big deal had better be made somewhere you know what I'm saying???  And I've been trying to get ready for this 5K and all that.  Well, guess what.  The baby shower for my last nephew ever (maybe) is the Sunday after my birthday.  My cousin who I haven't seen in 10-12 years and who also has the same birthday as me (day not year she's way far away from 40) is coming to the shower.  So I get to spend my 40th birthday with my "twin" cousin and her family, possibly her parents, possibly my parents, my brother and his family and if the husband isn't being too much of a pain...my hubby.  I don't know about anybody else, but I'm making a HUGE deal out of this. 

I finally have my spare bedroom rearranged to suit me.  That is all.

The Daytona 500 was yesterday.  I watched most of the truck race, most of the Nationwide race and all of the Daytona 500 and all I've gotta say is Trevor Bayne is too cute and very deserving, Tony Stewart made it to Victory Lane which always makes me happy, and Michael Waltrip made me cry on Friday.  Dale Earnhardt is still missed, but he's the reason why my favorite drivers can drive the way they do and wreck the way they do and walk away.  Bring on the 2011 season!!!


And, last but not least, my newest sister-in-law is now on Facebook.  I'm so excited. 

So there's a lot going on in there, but it's all good. 

Monday, February 7, 2011

Un-freaking-believable

Sometimes life is just weird. 

Before my mom passed away she spent the week-end with me and one of the things we did was discussed music.  Primarily James Taylor. She made a tape for me and one of the songs she included was "Fire and Rain".  She included it because I like it and even though she wasn't a big fan of it, she knew I liked it so it was her "present" to me on the tape.  So since she's passed, there have been times when that song plays that I just knew she was "playing" it for me.....like the time I was passing through the town she was born in and it started playing on the radio. It was a total "Hi mom!" moment.

Tonight, I absolutely should not be listening to the radio.  I was home and intended to stay there until I got a call from the electric company saying my bill hasn't been paid yet.  Which, it so totally has.  So after I call the electric company and inform them that not only did I pay $400 and something in cash...I even have a receipt for it.  So they're like "oh sure, no problem, just fax us the receipt".  So I leave the house in search of a fax machine.

I'm listening to the radio on the way to the fax and they're doing this weird story about how streaming funerals on the internet is the new greatest thing.  I don't get it, but I could see the benefit for a soldier in Afghanistan who can't get home to attend a funeral or something like that.  But they said that one benefit is that you're in such a fog at a loved one's funeral that you can go back and watch the funeral again later.

Um...no.

The fact that my mom's funeral is one big blur is one of God's greatest blessings to me.  I don't want to go back and watch it and relive the stupid thing.  I'm great with it being a fog of grief and despair.  I'm good with it being in the past.  Thankyouverymuch!!!  The second I have that thought.

Cue "Fire and Rain"...

Hi Mom and ha ha....

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Water, Snow, Death....and Awesomeness

It has been one heck of a week. 

Starting last Thursday, we've had issues with water.  I go home and get ready to wash my dirty dishes....and it seemed like it was every dish in my house that was dirty.  I turn on the water and...nothing.  No water.  We live in the country and we have a well.  Earlier that day I was bragging about how much I love having a well.  The water is so much better than city water.  It's just a wonderful thing to have. I'm bragging no more.  The darling husband got a part to try to fix it on Friday, got it installed and still...no water.  We spent the entire week-end going to my step-sons house to take baths and do laundry.  I should have some pretty awesome muscles from hauling 5 and 6 gallon water jugs around.  I even got to look really tough and wash dishes by boiling water.  But by Monday, I was over it.  Luckily, our well was fixed by Monday morning. 

Because Monday ushered in the great snow storm of 2011 bringing with it multiple days of sub-freezing temperatures.  I live in West Texas.  Winter is several months of 50-60 degree weather with a couple of hours of snow thrown in every once in awhile.  The old saying is if you don't like the weather in West Texas wait five minutes and it'll change.  So, um, it's been 5 minutes.  You can change now.  Monday night I went to the grocery store and got what we needed to be hunkered down and not leave the house for several days, because surely the school would close.  I brought the dog and her 2 day old puppies in the house, we wrapped faucets, etc.  We were READY.  Until I got up the next morning because we were only on a 2 hour delay because of the snow, took a shower, got conditioner in my hair and then the pipes froze.  I had already had 5 days of no water, I had conditioner in my hair and I thought I had to be at work in an hour.  Cue the hysterics.  Poor hubby, he thought I had lost my mind.  Then it was several hours of running around in a knit cap trying to get water back on.  Thank goodness school was canceled.  Unfortunately, it wasn't canceled yesterday or today.  The water has been back on for the most part and my hair is now super soft.  But I am so stinkin' ready for the temps to go above freezing.  The high has been 17 the last couple of days.  17 isn't a temperature, it's the age you get to see R rated movies.  And oh, by the way, people who live in colder climates are absolutely insane.  Just saying.

I got introduced to a new migraine trigger...extreme cold. 

Now the hard part.  When I moved here, I started seeing the chiropractor that my husband has known for years.  Wonderful man, crazy sense of humor, devoted to Christ, mission worker, loved by everyone he ever met and loved everyone he ever met.  He's been battling cancer for awhile now.  It was announced last week that he was finished battling and was just going to let it take it's course.  The battle officially ended yesterday.  My tears are pure selfishness.  He's home.  And it was a joyous occasion in heaven when he arrived and started giving the angels a hard time.  I guarantee they haven't stopped laughing since he got there.  Then I got a call from my step-dad.  Actually, since he and my mom divorced, she married someone else, then passed away and he married someone else, he's probably no longer technically my step-dad, but he's still my family.  His brother passed away last week-end.  Holy freaking crap people.  Two in one day???  That's a little much, don't you think?  He lived with my mom and step-dad for several years and he and my mom were partners in crime.  She was there to welcome him and I'm sure they're having a great time now.  Again, my tears are pure selfishness.  He's home, too.  And he missed my mom terribly.  With two funerals to attend this week-end, I'm predicting a difficult one.  But it'll be okay.

Now the awesomeness.  I've been out of touch with my baby brother for quite some time.  There's been some peripheral contact through his wife on Facebook, but when I tried to get a number, my timing was way off.  It was in the middle of her sister getting married and I think my message got lost in the shuffle.  Anyway, he and my step-dad keep in contact and while talking to my step-dad I got his phone numbers.  So now my two brothers and I are all back in touch again.  My heart hurts without them.  I've been doing a happy dance since yesterday. 

Life is never all good, and it's never all bad, but it's always all there. 

Oh and if anybody wants a blue heeler/neighborhood black dog mix puppy, I have six.  One of them is named Emo, because he's always doing exactly the opposite of his brothers and sisters and is crying all the time.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Wow

I work at a community college.  I love it.  For one, my students are deaf so I get the added advantage of being able to use two languages and I get inspired on a daily basis because I see these kids do things that I can't accomplish with regular hearing.  I also love the cycles we go through.  Fall semester, spring semester, summer.  Beginning of the semester, middle of the semester, end of semester.  New Student Orientation and Graduation.  Fall semester and spring semester are completely different with different events and different objectives.  And I love what I do here.  I love being a secretary.  I work with faculty and although I joke about the "children" and the "students" it's really a pretty good gig.  It weirds me out sometimes that I'm a "school secretary", but most of the time I'm okay with it. 

The first two weeks of any semester are crazy.  And for me it starts two weeks before the semester starts because we have meetings and registration and paperwork and faculty coming back from being off for a month and paperwork and more meetings and schedule changes and oh, by the way, did I mention PAPERWORK!! 

But this semester has been absolutely, positively, certifiably insane.  We had a water main burst in a building.  We've had a flu/upper respiratory/bronchitis/pneumonia epidemic that hasn't even hit the student population yet.  We're looking at severe budget cuts thanks to the state being billions of dollars in debt.  And there's been all this random stuff happening that's making me a little nuts. 

So my little blog has been severely neglected.  My other blog has been super-severely neglected.  And oh by the way...exercising...not happened at all this week so I'm super frustrated there.

All in all...wow.  Just...wow.

Is it too early to start counting the days till Spring Break???

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Fruit Basket Turnover Week

All is quiet on the blog front because my week month has been craziness.  It's that time of the semester and work and this semester seems to be superextraseriously crazy.  Craziness+insanity+hysteria+weirdness=my life right now.  It's not necessarily anything bad, just nuts.

It should be over soon.

Sort-of.

My job is a lot of fun.  It's a lot of work.  It's time for things to settle down.  But so far this is one of THOSE semesters.  Kind-of like that neighbor that you kind-of like but when you're around them they're unspeakably rude, very hard to understand and WON'T GO AWAY!!!  I think we're going to be craziness personified until May 13, 2011.  A significant day worthy of it's own blog post.

Lessons of the week:

#1 - Stupid people don't get less stupid - if anything they find whole new ways to be stupid.

#2 - I am in a really, really, really good place in my life no matter what the scale, my migraines, or my feelings tell me.  The little Mr. and I are sitting pretty and I need to get good and grateful NOW.

#3 - I'm a big ol' baby who gets her feelings hurt over nothing.  I obsessed for 24 hours over....coffee.  Wow.  That was 24 hours well spent.

#4 - When I get out of my own way, God takes really good care of me.  When I get in my own way I am train wreck city.

So yeah, I'm all over the map on this one because I am all over the map in my life, feelings, thinking, etc.  I did start a journal to really get a grip on myself.  If I'm doing the things I'm not supposed to be doing and I'm not doing the things I'm supposed to be doing....I'm in the wrong spot.