I originally wrote this to post on June 23rd on Band Back Together, but after thinking about it I wanted to share it here too.
Monday, June 20th, 2011 at 5:30 pm a fire sparked on the road behind my house. One downed power line caused over 6000 acres to burn, two homes to be lost and 24 of the most terrifying hours of my life. The area is very hilly and covered by dead grass, mesquite and cedar trees and around 300 homes sprinkled in and out and around. My house sits on a hill with a valley behind and another hill on the other side.
This is what I learned from this experience:
1) Life can change in an instant. When my husband left the house to pick me up from work there was nothing wrong. 10 minutes later the fire had started and was well on it's way to out of control.
2) I have an idea of what hell looks like. In pitch black night with nothing to see for hundreds of acres but flames I got a pretty good idea. At the time my thought was somewhere along the lines of "please God make it stop". I think.
3) The #1 benefit of twitter is to be able to tell somebody how horrified you are at 3:00 in the morning when everyone around you is just as horrified as you are. My husband knew how terrified I was. Telling him wasn't going to help anything.
4) My wheelchair bound, disabled husband sat up all night and watched the fire so I could try to sleep a little. My wheelchair bound, disabled husband protected me. I've known perfectly healthy men on two legs who would not have made a stand like that.
5) Thank God my husband has never been a "darling, honey, sweetie, baby" kind of guy. When he woke me up to get me out of the house because the fire was right outside our house and all I could think about was getting shoes on "Baby, we have to go" got my attention more than anything else could have.
6) I will never look at a camp fire the same again.
7) When packing to leave, I gave no thought for my new tv or refrigerator. All I wanted was enough clothes to get us through a few days and my family. EVERYTHING else can be replaced.
8 ) When you think something is over, it isn't necessarily over. The fire had gone miles away from us and then the wind changed and turned back around and came right for us. I was sleeping soundly several hours later thinking it was over when we had to evacuate....again.
9) Never underestimate the power of a hot shower and the ability to brush your teeth.
10) It's not very often that you get Utah Forest Service guys in your front yard in Texas. I wish they didn't have to be there. I love every one of them, though.
11) I appreciate the state trooper who told us if we left to go get ice (after the fire was 100% contained and they were working on hot spots) we may not be able to get back in. I love the sheriff's deputy who later told us he knew who we were and we'd have no problem getting back in as long as the hot spots were down. I especially loved him when we returned and he asked why we didn't bring him back a beer.
12) Apparently it takes a few days to recover physically and emotionally from that kind of thing. We've been out of danger for over 48 hours and I feel like crap still. Of course, I might have breathed in a little more smoke than I should have and I've only had 3 migraines since then. Maybe I should cut myself some slack.
13) I will never, ever, ever question my granddaughter when she doesn't see her mom and gets scared. Three times the other night I went outside and saw darkness and flames and couldn't see my husband. I was screaming for him and didn't really care that I sounded like a frightened child. At age 40....I was one.
and last but not least
14) You never know who is watching. I am now on a news channel commercial....in my pajamas....and I never saw a camera.
So our fire is over. All the hot spots are probably out by now. We now have a beautiful new fire break as landscape. Life should be getting back to normal. But I have a feeling I will never be the same again.
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Where Have I Been?
Short answer...everywhere!
I haven't blogged in a month. It's been a crazy month full of exciting events: softball/blast ball, dancing, graduation and babies, baby!
A lot of those events involved my local granddaughters. The older one is in the beginning softball stages where they get 5 attempts to hit the ball and the coach does the pitching. Once we figured out she really isn't a lefty she started getting some hits. I predict a lot of time at softball fields in my future. The younger one played blast ball where you hit from a tee, run to first base and step on a base that has a blast from a horn....hence the name. It was her very first season so we'll see if theres a future in it...either way lots of softball hair in the future.
The dancing involved the same two girls. A recital for both and yesterday a talent show for the oldest. See prediction about softball....
Graduation....ahhh graduation. What can I say. I have a love/hate relationship with graduation. This was my second year to be "she who is in charge of graduation" at my school. Much easier than the first for two reasons, experience is the best teacher and I have the best boss in the world. He got out of my way and just let me do my thing. The only major hitch was nothing I could have foreseen/prevented. When it was finished I went home and slept the sleep of the just or the sleep of someone who had only gotten three hours of sleep of the previous 24. Either way...I slept. But I love it and hate it because while it's the celebration of hard work and the achievements of our graduates it means saying goodbye to some pretty awesome young people, but I have to remember next fall means the introduction of a new batch of awesome young people.
My other graduation was older granddaughter kindergarten graduation. I watched her sit on stage with her legs crossed like a young lady and my heart just broke at the thought that she's not a baby anymore. But she's an incredible little girl and I can't wait to see what the future holds for her. Next year 1st grade and pre-k for her little sister. (Memo to me...find out principal's favorite cookies....)
Now the babies, a new niece and a new nephew. New niece is a first baby for her parents and first grandchild my parents have in the same town...I predict spoiled, but in a totally adorable way. And the new nephew is the last baby for his parents, I predict same. I would say they saved the best for last but he's got some pretty freaking awesome older brothers and sisters. His oldest sister posted junior prom pics last week-end. Go back and re-read part of granddaughters graduation and apply here... Also, new nephews mommy gave us quite a scare, but Jesus is the Great Healer and it's all good now.
And to update last blog post...job still up in the air but it's more which campus will I work on instead of will I have a job. So not as stressed there. And we still haven't had a bad fire nearby but we haven't had more than .05" of rain either. However, I don't obsess about it like I was.
Next up...summer hours. Four 10 hour days and three days off. Also, a wedding, a birthday and an anniversary.
I haven't blogged in a month. It's been a crazy month full of exciting events: softball/blast ball, dancing, graduation and babies, baby!
A lot of those events involved my local granddaughters. The older one is in the beginning softball stages where they get 5 attempts to hit the ball and the coach does the pitching. Once we figured out she really isn't a lefty she started getting some hits. I predict a lot of time at softball fields in my future. The younger one played blast ball where you hit from a tee, run to first base and step on a base that has a blast from a horn....hence the name. It was her very first season so we'll see if theres a future in it...either way lots of softball hair in the future.
The dancing involved the same two girls. A recital for both and yesterday a talent show for the oldest. See prediction about softball....
Graduation....ahhh graduation. What can I say. I have a love/hate relationship with graduation. This was my second year to be "she who is in charge of graduation" at my school. Much easier than the first for two reasons, experience is the best teacher and I have the best boss in the world. He got out of my way and just let me do my thing. The only major hitch was nothing I could have foreseen/prevented. When it was finished I went home and slept the sleep of the just or the sleep of someone who had only gotten three hours of sleep of the previous 24. Either way...I slept. But I love it and hate it because while it's the celebration of hard work and the achievements of our graduates it means saying goodbye to some pretty awesome young people, but I have to remember next fall means the introduction of a new batch of awesome young people.
My other graduation was older granddaughter kindergarten graduation. I watched her sit on stage with her legs crossed like a young lady and my heart just broke at the thought that she's not a baby anymore. But she's an incredible little girl and I can't wait to see what the future holds for her. Next year 1st grade and pre-k for her little sister. (Memo to me...find out principal's favorite cookies....)
Now the babies, a new niece and a new nephew. New niece is a first baby for her parents and first grandchild my parents have in the same town...I predict spoiled, but in a totally adorable way. And the new nephew is the last baby for his parents, I predict same. I would say they saved the best for last but he's got some pretty freaking awesome older brothers and sisters. His oldest sister posted junior prom pics last week-end. Go back and re-read part of granddaughters graduation and apply here... Also, new nephews mommy gave us quite a scare, but Jesus is the Great Healer and it's all good now.
And to update last blog post...job still up in the air but it's more which campus will I work on instead of will I have a job. So not as stressed there. And we still haven't had a bad fire nearby but we haven't had more than .05" of rain either. However, I don't obsess about it like I was.
Next up...summer hours. Four 10 hour days and three days off. Also, a wedding, a birthday and an anniversary.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Time
I looked at the calendar this morning and had two thoughts.
1) Where the heck did the first two months of the year go?
and
2) Spring break in two weeks. Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But the passing of time has actually been on my mind a lot lately. I'll be 40 in 36 days. Wow. Just...wow. 4 decades. I was born during the Vietnam War. I was a child during the bell bottom era. (I had a pink pantsuit that I loved because it was just like Marie Osmond. I know, right?) I was a teenager in the 80's. I seriously wanted Cyndi Lauper's hair. Sorry Dad. I was a young adult during the 90's. Bill Clinton taught us how to use semantics in sticky situations. Then in my 30's we got Bin Laden, 9/11 and Iraq and Afghanistan. It'll be interesting to see what my 40's and the Teens will bring.
Then I look at my own personal numbers. 20 years since my last open-heart surgery. 22 years since my first Al-Anon meeting. 15 1/2 years sober. My oldest nephew is 17. My oldest niece will be 17 on Monday. My husband and I have been together for 10 years this coming May. Married for 6 years this coming June. Mom has been gone for 8 years this coming April. My oldest granddaughter will be 6 in July.
So what's the story with all this? I have had the greatest joys and the deepest of sorrows. I've climbed mountains and I've dug myself out of valleys. I've had times of comforting faith and other times of serious doubts.
And the rest of the story is...I will have more greatest joys and deepest sorrows. I'll climb more mountains and there will be more valleys. I will have more times of comforting faith and more times of serious doubts. And it will all be okay.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 - There is an appointed time for everything . And there is a time for every event under heaven--
1) Where the heck did the first two months of the year go?
and
2) Spring break in two weeks. Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But the passing of time has actually been on my mind a lot lately. I'll be 40 in 36 days. Wow. Just...wow. 4 decades. I was born during the Vietnam War. I was a child during the bell bottom era. (I had a pink pantsuit that I loved because it was just like Marie Osmond. I know, right?) I was a teenager in the 80's. I seriously wanted Cyndi Lauper's hair. Sorry Dad. I was a young adult during the 90's. Bill Clinton taught us how to use semantics in sticky situations. Then in my 30's we got Bin Laden, 9/11 and Iraq and Afghanistan. It'll be interesting to see what my 40's and the Teens will bring.
Then I look at my own personal numbers. 20 years since my last open-heart surgery. 22 years since my first Al-Anon meeting. 15 1/2 years sober. My oldest nephew is 17. My oldest niece will be 17 on Monday. My husband and I have been together for 10 years this coming May. Married for 6 years this coming June. Mom has been gone for 8 years this coming April. My oldest granddaughter will be 6 in July.
So what's the story with all this? I have had the greatest joys and the deepest of sorrows. I've climbed mountains and I've dug myself out of valleys. I've had times of comforting faith and other times of serious doubts.
And the rest of the story is...I will have more greatest joys and deepest sorrows. I'll climb more mountains and there will be more valleys. I will have more times of comforting faith and more times of serious doubts. And it will all be okay.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 - There is an appointed time for everything . And there is a time for every event under heaven--
Monday, February 21, 2011
Crickets
That's what I'm hearing in my brain. Crickets chirping.
No, not really. Actually I think there's soooo much going through my teeny tiny brain that I've been having a hard time focusing on one thing to blog on.
Here's the highlights:
Expectations are premeditated resentments and Valentine's Day is one big resentment plot for me. I've been with my husband for almost 10 years now. I know the man pretty darn well and one fact about the love of my life is that you could fit his romantic side in a teaspoon. Except every once in awhile he pulls something out of the hat that is so from so far out in left field he is automatically forgiven for every missed birthday/anniversary/Valentine's day. This was one of those years. I got a computer generated card. In and of itself not that exciting. Except for the words. A lot of the time my husband is full of the blarney. For example...his most recent wheelchair. He told me in all seriousness that he had ordered a canary yellow pearl wheelchair. I was horrified. I mean, yeah, dude's gotta ride around in it, but I have to look at it and I was more than a little nervous at the idea of having to look at a canary yellow pearl wheelchair for the next three years because OBVIOUSLY!! But when we go to pick it up....it's like a midnight blue pearl. It's actually very cool looking. It's manly but with sparkles. Win/win. But when it comes to matters of the heart, if he doesn't mean it, he doesn't say it. So when I read his computer generated card...I cried.
Spring has sprung. West Texas does two weeks of winter a year and two weeks ago we had it. Sub freezing temps for two weeks straight almost. Frozen pipes, burst pipes, couldn't get warm, winter. It's over. It's been in the 60's, 70's and 80's for the last two weeks and it's predicted 70's for the next week. I...love...it. I've already started watching the mesquites for signs of them putting out leaves. It's probably too early. We probably have one more freeze left. But mesquites...I'm watching you.
If you haven't heard this yet...my 40th birthday is in April. Read that part about expectations and resentments again. Guess where my brain is headed for my 40th birthday. Some kind of big deal had better be made somewhere you know what I'm saying??? And I've been trying to get ready for this 5K and all that. Well, guess what. The baby shower for my last nephew ever (maybe) is the Sunday after my birthday. My cousin who I haven't seen in 10-12 years and who also has the same birthday as me (day not year she's way far away from 40) is coming to the shower. So I get to spend my 40th birthday with my "twin" cousin and her family, possibly her parents, possibly my parents, my brother and his family and if the husband isn't being too much of a pain...my hubby. I don't know about anybody else, but I'm making a HUGE deal out of this.
I finally have my spare bedroom rearranged to suit me. That is all.
The Daytona 500 was yesterday. I watched most of the truck race, most of the Nationwide race and all of the Daytona 500 and all I've gotta say is Trevor Bayne is too cute and very deserving, Tony Stewart made it to Victory Lane which always makes me happy, and Michael Waltrip made me cry on Friday. Dale Earnhardt is still missed, but he's the reason why my favorite drivers can drive the way they do and wreck the way they do and walk away. Bring on the 2011 season!!!
And, last but not least, my newest sister-in-law is now on Facebook. I'm so excited.
So there's a lot going on in there, but it's all good.
No, not really. Actually I think there's soooo much going through my teeny tiny brain that I've been having a hard time focusing on one thing to blog on.
Here's the highlights:
Expectations are premeditated resentments and Valentine's Day is one big resentment plot for me. I've been with my husband for almost 10 years now. I know the man pretty darn well and one fact about the love of my life is that you could fit his romantic side in a teaspoon. Except every once in awhile he pulls something out of the hat that is so from so far out in left field he is automatically forgiven for every missed birthday/anniversary/Valentine's day. This was one of those years. I got a computer generated card. In and of itself not that exciting. Except for the words. A lot of the time my husband is full of the blarney. For example...his most recent wheelchair. He told me in all seriousness that he had ordered a canary yellow pearl wheelchair. I was horrified. I mean, yeah, dude's gotta ride around in it, but I have to look at it and I was more than a little nervous at the idea of having to look at a canary yellow pearl wheelchair for the next three years because OBVIOUSLY!! But when we go to pick it up....it's like a midnight blue pearl. It's actually very cool looking. It's manly but with sparkles. Win/win. But when it comes to matters of the heart, if he doesn't mean it, he doesn't say it. So when I read his computer generated card...I cried.
Spring has sprung. West Texas does two weeks of winter a year and two weeks ago we had it. Sub freezing temps for two weeks straight almost. Frozen pipes, burst pipes, couldn't get warm, winter. It's over. It's been in the 60's, 70's and 80's for the last two weeks and it's predicted 70's for the next week. I...love...it. I've already started watching the mesquites for signs of them putting out leaves. It's probably too early. We probably have one more freeze left. But mesquites...I'm watching you.
If you haven't heard this yet...my 40th birthday is in April. Read that part about expectations and resentments again. Guess where my brain is headed for my 40th birthday. Some kind of big deal had better be made somewhere you know what I'm saying??? And I've been trying to get ready for this 5K and all that. Well, guess what. The baby shower for my last nephew ever (maybe) is the Sunday after my birthday. My cousin who I haven't seen in 10-12 years and who also has the same birthday as me (day not year she's way far away from 40) is coming to the shower. So I get to spend my 40th birthday with my "twin" cousin and her family, possibly her parents, possibly my parents, my brother and his family and if the husband isn't being too much of a pain...my hubby. I don't know about anybody else, but I'm making a HUGE deal out of this.
I finally have my spare bedroom rearranged to suit me. That is all.
The Daytona 500 was yesterday. I watched most of the truck race, most of the Nationwide race and all of the Daytona 500 and all I've gotta say is Trevor Bayne is too cute and very deserving, Tony Stewart made it to Victory Lane which always makes me happy, and Michael Waltrip made me cry on Friday. Dale Earnhardt is still missed, but he's the reason why my favorite drivers can drive the way they do and wreck the way they do and walk away. Bring on the 2011 season!!!
And, last but not least, my newest sister-in-law is now on Facebook. I'm so excited.
So there's a lot going on in there, but it's all good.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Water, Snow, Death....and Awesomeness
It has been one heck of a week.
Starting last Thursday, we've had issues with water. I go home and get ready to wash my dirty dishes....and it seemed like it was every dish in my house that was dirty. I turn on the water and...nothing. No water. We live in the country and we have a well. Earlier that day I was bragging about how much I love having a well. The water is so much better than city water. It's just a wonderful thing to have. I'm bragging no more. The darling husband got a part to try to fix it on Friday, got it installed and still...no water. We spent the entire week-end going to my step-sons house to take baths and do laundry. I should have some pretty awesome muscles from hauling 5 and 6 gallon water jugs around. I even got to look really tough and wash dishes by boiling water. But by Monday, I was over it. Luckily, our well was fixed by Monday morning.
Because Monday ushered in the great snow storm of 2011 bringing with it multiple days of sub-freezing temperatures. I live in West Texas. Winter is several months of 50-60 degree weather with a couple of hours of snow thrown in every once in awhile. The old saying is if you don't like the weather in West Texas wait five minutes and it'll change. So, um, it's been 5 minutes. You can change now. Monday night I went to the grocery store and got what we needed to be hunkered down and not leave the house for several days, because surely the school would close. I brought the dog and her 2 day old puppies in the house, we wrapped faucets, etc. We were READY. Until I got up the next morning because we were only on a 2 hour delay because of the snow, took a shower, got conditioner in my hair and then the pipes froze. I had already had 5 days of no water, I had conditioner in my hair and I thought I had to be at work in an hour. Cue the hysterics. Poor hubby, he thought I had lost my mind. Then it was several hours of running around in a knit cap trying to get water back on. Thank goodness school was canceled. Unfortunately, it wasn't canceled yesterday or today. The water has been back on for the most part and my hair is now super soft. But I am so stinkin' ready for the temps to go above freezing. The high has been 17 the last couple of days. 17 isn't a temperature, it's the age you get to see R rated movies. And oh, by the way, people who live in colder climates are absolutely insane. Just saying.
I got introduced to a new migraine trigger...extreme cold.
Now the hard part. When I moved here, I started seeing the chiropractor that my husband has known for years. Wonderful man, crazy sense of humor, devoted to Christ, mission worker, loved by everyone he ever met and loved everyone he ever met. He's been battling cancer for awhile now. It was announced last week that he was finished battling and was just going to let it take it's course. The battle officially ended yesterday. My tears are pure selfishness. He's home. And it was a joyous occasion in heaven when he arrived and started giving the angels a hard time. I guarantee they haven't stopped laughing since he got there. Then I got a call from my step-dad. Actually, since he and my mom divorced, she married someone else, then passed away and he married someone else, he's probably no longer technically my step-dad, but he's still my family. His brother passed away last week-end. Holy freaking crap people. Two in one day??? That's a little much, don't you think? He lived with my mom and step-dad for several years and he and my mom were partners in crime. She was there to welcome him and I'm sure they're having a great time now. Again, my tears are pure selfishness. He's home, too. And he missed my mom terribly. With two funerals to attend this week-end, I'm predicting a difficult one. But it'll be okay.
Now the awesomeness. I've been out of touch with my baby brother for quite some time. There's been some peripheral contact through his wife on Facebook, but when I tried to get a number, my timing was way off. It was in the middle of her sister getting married and I think my message got lost in the shuffle. Anyway, he and my step-dad keep in contact and while talking to my step-dad I got his phone numbers. So now my two brothers and I are all back in touch again. My heart hurts without them. I've been doing a happy dance since yesterday.
Life is never all good, and it's never all bad, but it's always all there.
Oh and if anybody wants a blue heeler/neighborhood black dog mix puppy, I have six. One of them is named Emo, because he's always doing exactly the opposite of his brothers and sisters and is crying all the time.
Starting last Thursday, we've had issues with water. I go home and get ready to wash my dirty dishes....and it seemed like it was every dish in my house that was dirty. I turn on the water and...nothing. No water. We live in the country and we have a well. Earlier that day I was bragging about how much I love having a well. The water is so much better than city water. It's just a wonderful thing to have. I'm bragging no more. The darling husband got a part to try to fix it on Friday, got it installed and still...no water. We spent the entire week-end going to my step-sons house to take baths and do laundry. I should have some pretty awesome muscles from hauling 5 and 6 gallon water jugs around. I even got to look really tough and wash dishes by boiling water. But by Monday, I was over it. Luckily, our well was fixed by Monday morning.
Because Monday ushered in the great snow storm of 2011 bringing with it multiple days of sub-freezing temperatures. I live in West Texas. Winter is several months of 50-60 degree weather with a couple of hours of snow thrown in every once in awhile. The old saying is if you don't like the weather in West Texas wait five minutes and it'll change. So, um, it's been 5 minutes. You can change now. Monday night I went to the grocery store and got what we needed to be hunkered down and not leave the house for several days, because surely the school would close. I brought the dog and her 2 day old puppies in the house, we wrapped faucets, etc. We were READY. Until I got up the next morning because we were only on a 2 hour delay because of the snow, took a shower, got conditioner in my hair and then the pipes froze. I had already had 5 days of no water, I had conditioner in my hair and I thought I had to be at work in an hour. Cue the hysterics. Poor hubby, he thought I had lost my mind. Then it was several hours of running around in a knit cap trying to get water back on. Thank goodness school was canceled. Unfortunately, it wasn't canceled yesterday or today. The water has been back on for the most part and my hair is now super soft. But I am so stinkin' ready for the temps to go above freezing. The high has been 17 the last couple of days. 17 isn't a temperature, it's the age you get to see R rated movies. And oh, by the way, people who live in colder climates are absolutely insane. Just saying.
I got introduced to a new migraine trigger...extreme cold.
Now the hard part. When I moved here, I started seeing the chiropractor that my husband has known for years. Wonderful man, crazy sense of humor, devoted to Christ, mission worker, loved by everyone he ever met and loved everyone he ever met. He's been battling cancer for awhile now. It was announced last week that he was finished battling and was just going to let it take it's course. The battle officially ended yesterday. My tears are pure selfishness. He's home. And it was a joyous occasion in heaven when he arrived and started giving the angels a hard time. I guarantee they haven't stopped laughing since he got there. Then I got a call from my step-dad. Actually, since he and my mom divorced, she married someone else, then passed away and he married someone else, he's probably no longer technically my step-dad, but he's still my family. His brother passed away last week-end. Holy freaking crap people. Two in one day??? That's a little much, don't you think? He lived with my mom and step-dad for several years and he and my mom were partners in crime. She was there to welcome him and I'm sure they're having a great time now. Again, my tears are pure selfishness. He's home, too. And he missed my mom terribly. With two funerals to attend this week-end, I'm predicting a difficult one. But it'll be okay.
Now the awesomeness. I've been out of touch with my baby brother for quite some time. There's been some peripheral contact through his wife on Facebook, but when I tried to get a number, my timing was way off. It was in the middle of her sister getting married and I think my message got lost in the shuffle. Anyway, he and my step-dad keep in contact and while talking to my step-dad I got his phone numbers. So now my two brothers and I are all back in touch again. My heart hurts without them. I've been doing a happy dance since yesterday.
Life is never all good, and it's never all bad, but it's always all there.
Oh and if anybody wants a blue heeler/neighborhood black dog mix puppy, I have six. One of them is named Emo, because he's always doing exactly the opposite of his brothers and sisters and is crying all the time.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Happy Time
We all saw the commercials this past holiday season. "Peggy" the credit card service guy. Tells this woman she has like no money from points and then he says "Happy Time".
I love Peggy.
And all my ick, angst, meh from last week seems to have disappeared into "Happy Time".
The reasons, I think, are this....
My dryer broke last week. Okay, not life-threatening or anything. I mean, I already hang dry my husbands jeans and I could easily do that to his work shirts. I could go to the laundromat and do the other two loads a week of laundry I have (It's just me and the little mister at home, we don't go through that many clothes). It's a do-able situation. Except money has been tight and I'm stressed about money anyway. I was envisioning hundreds of dollars to fix or that we'd need a new one. No telling when that would happen. But I wasn't figuring on my husband being like a dog with a bone. Every night after work he tried something on it, he cleaned it out, he took the heating unit to the repair place, he borrowed an electrical sensor thingy and tested everything. It was 5 days before it was all put back together and fixed...but...it...is...fixed!!!!!
Much more importantly than the whole dryer thing...we found out that my baby niece has congenital hip dysplasia and there was the potential for her to have surgery which would have ended up with her being in a body cast. Her doctors appointment was this week and she doesn't have to have surgery. She just has to go back in a year. Sweet.
I found out last week that I'm getting a niece in Oklahoma and a nephew in Texas. I collect nieces and nephews like most people collect sea shells and this will be niece # 4 and nephew number 6...oh and baby nephew already has a nickname. Thanks to his father's weirdness he is henceforth and forever..."SpidaMan". How could that not be a "Happy Time".
And finally, I spent Saturday watching my grandkids while my step-son and his girlfriend went to look for Hailey Dunn. I'm so sad about this missing little girl and it reminded me how lucky I am, once again, that all my family are fairly healthy and happy. We don't have any problems nearly that big today. We may tomorrow, but today....everything is alright.
So yeah, last week I was full of the sad, stressed, freaked out. This week...full of the happy.
I love Peggy.
And all my ick, angst, meh from last week seems to have disappeared into "Happy Time".
The reasons, I think, are this....
My dryer broke last week. Okay, not life-threatening or anything. I mean, I already hang dry my husbands jeans and I could easily do that to his work shirts. I could go to the laundromat and do the other two loads a week of laundry I have (It's just me and the little mister at home, we don't go through that many clothes). It's a do-able situation. Except money has been tight and I'm stressed about money anyway. I was envisioning hundreds of dollars to fix or that we'd need a new one. No telling when that would happen. But I wasn't figuring on my husband being like a dog with a bone. Every night after work he tried something on it, he cleaned it out, he took the heating unit to the repair place, he borrowed an electrical sensor thingy and tested everything. It was 5 days before it was all put back together and fixed...but...it...is...fixed!!!!!
Much more importantly than the whole dryer thing...we found out that my baby niece has congenital hip dysplasia and there was the potential for her to have surgery which would have ended up with her being in a body cast. Her doctors appointment was this week and she doesn't have to have surgery. She just has to go back in a year. Sweet.
I found out last week that I'm getting a niece in Oklahoma and a nephew in Texas. I collect nieces and nephews like most people collect sea shells and this will be niece # 4 and nephew number 6...oh and baby nephew already has a nickname. Thanks to his father's weirdness he is henceforth and forever..."SpidaMan". How could that not be a "Happy Time".
And finally, I spent Saturday watching my grandkids while my step-son and his girlfriend went to look for Hailey Dunn. I'm so sad about this missing little girl and it reminded me how lucky I am, once again, that all my family are fairly healthy and happy. We don't have any problems nearly that big today. We may tomorrow, but today....everything is alright.
So yeah, last week I was full of the sad, stressed, freaked out. This week...full of the happy.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Quiet Week
Okay, no, not really. It's been crazy hectic. But my brain has been quiet which is...not normal.
Okay, that's not really true either. I get these spells where I've got nothin'. No profound wisdom, no fun things on my mind, just getting through life one step at a time. Compared to the times of my life when I'm thinking in 150 gajillion directions...it's kinda nice. Not so great for a blog, though.
What's been happening this week?
I met a scorpion named Jennifer. And saw the biggest freakin' Burmese python I've ever seen in my 39 and a half years and please Lord let it be the last. It was in a tank. At a nature center. But still. Holy mackerel that thing was huge. I would've been just a tasty snack. I was able to keep a detached interest at the other 50 some-odd snakes they had including the rattlesnakes, but the Burmese python scared the bejeebers out of me.
My one and only grandson turned 5 on the same day. Needless to say that was the highlight of the day (although the 2 bobcats were pretty cool).
My oldest granddaughter had her 3rd Christmas dance recital and finally came out of her dancing shell. She danced! And smiled! At the same time!!! She's my more cerebral girl so it was good to see her let some of her personality show to the rest of the world instead of standing there thinking about everyone looking at her.
The next night the middle granddaughter had her very first ever dance recital. No worries about her thinking too much about it. She smiled and danced and flipped her hair and had a great time. Until about 3/4 of the way into each dance and then she was over it. But she'd finish...just you could tell she was done. There's a lot of speculation about her having ADHD and sometimes you can really see when she's just onto something else in her mind.
Wednesday was the migraine from Hades...not a good day, but I worked most of the day, went home and went to bed... and then went on with my week.
Yesterday was day one of Couch to 5K which is a whole other post entirely.
Now I'm just kinda ready to be done with work. I have some things I need to do the next couple of weeks, but for the most part I'm ready to just chill. We'll have the two local grandgirls most of the time so I'm not sure how much actual "chill" will happen, but I'm going to try my hardest.
Oh, and as for the Dr.'s appointment last week? They called on Friday afternoon with the results of the echo. Still no word on the holter, but I only had to push the stupid button three times, right before bed, when my heart palpitates anyway if I'm extremely tired. So I'm not too worried about it...but this is why I hate having tests run this time of year.
* As soon as I originally posted this...I got the call from the heart doc. It's all good. I had some extra beats...which I knew....but nothing they haven't seen before.
Okay, that's not really true either. I get these spells where I've got nothin'. No profound wisdom, no fun things on my mind, just getting through life one step at a time. Compared to the times of my life when I'm thinking in 150 gajillion directions...it's kinda nice. Not so great for a blog, though.
What's been happening this week?
I met a scorpion named Jennifer. And saw the biggest freakin' Burmese python I've ever seen in my 39 and a half years and please Lord let it be the last. It was in a tank. At a nature center. But still. Holy mackerel that thing was huge. I would've been just a tasty snack. I was able to keep a detached interest at the other 50 some-odd snakes they had including the rattlesnakes, but the Burmese python scared the bejeebers out of me.
My one and only grandson turned 5 on the same day. Needless to say that was the highlight of the day (although the 2 bobcats were pretty cool).
My oldest granddaughter had her 3rd Christmas dance recital and finally came out of her dancing shell. She danced! And smiled! At the same time!!! She's my more cerebral girl so it was good to see her let some of her personality show to the rest of the world instead of standing there thinking about everyone looking at her.
The next night the middle granddaughter had her very first ever dance recital. No worries about her thinking too much about it. She smiled and danced and flipped her hair and had a great time. Until about 3/4 of the way into each dance and then she was over it. But she'd finish...just you could tell she was done. There's a lot of speculation about her having ADHD and sometimes you can really see when she's just onto something else in her mind.
Wednesday was the migraine from Hades...not a good day, but I worked most of the day, went home and went to bed... and then went on with my week.
Yesterday was day one of Couch to 5K which is a whole other post entirely.
Now I'm just kinda ready to be done with work. I have some things I need to do the next couple of weeks, but for the most part I'm ready to just chill. We'll have the two local grandgirls most of the time so I'm not sure how much actual "chill" will happen, but I'm going to try my hardest.
Oh, and as for the Dr.'s appointment last week? They called on Friday afternoon with the results of the echo. Still no word on the holter, but I only had to push the stupid button three times, right before bed, when my heart palpitates anyway if I'm extremely tired. So I'm not too worried about it...but this is why I hate having tests run this time of year.
* As soon as I originally posted this...I got the call from the heart doc. It's all good. I had some extra beats...which I knew....but nothing they haven't seen before.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Nothing to complain about
I have nothing to complain about really. I'm going to the heart doc tomorrow and really it's not that big of a deal. I love my current cardiologist and I haven't always been able to say that. I'm having an echocardiogram and a holter monitor like I do every December and really that's not that big of a deal. I'll have the exact same conversation with the echo tech that I do every year because she doesn't remember me from year to year. I'll have the same conversation I do with the doc every six months (Are you exercising? Why not? When are you going to start? What's the plan?) I get a day off of work. I'll be able to do all my Christmas shopping when I'm done.
So what's the deal? Every adult CHD'er (CHD = Congenital Heart Defect for those that don't know) will tell you the same thing I'm sure. Going to the heart doc is annoying. I work with around 50 people. I can think of only two others that work here who have standing appointments with a cardiologist and they're men in their 50's/60's. Although now that I'm less than 6 months away from 40 I'm starting to fit into the right age group. It's fun trying to explain to people why you're going to a heart doc when you're 25 - "Are you waiting on your grandfather?" "No, I'm here to see the doc." "But you're way to young for that." "No, trust me, I'm getting way to old for this. It was much easier when I was 5". Because lets face it. When you're 5 the heart doc has toys to play with while you wait. I mean come on!
It's annoying because if I tell my family I have a heart doc appointment I get "Gasp! I hope everything's OKAY!" It is. It's been okay for years now. Please don't worry. But they do. Parents, aunts, uncles, cousins...they were there. They remember the days when we were all fighting for my life. They remember the tears, the prayers, the hopes, the wishes. And then there's the brothers who all they've ever known is a sister with heart problems. So it instills fear in them to hear I'm headed to the heart doc. But then there's the new family. My husband and his family. All they've ever known is that I have heart problems, but other than 3 days in the hospital 5 years ago they haven't really seen it manifested so...."Do we worry? What's going on? Is something wrong?" No, it's just what I need to do. And the flip side of all of this is if I keep it to myself that I'm going for a check-up then I get. "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US???" So I kinda can't win here. And I get both sides of that coin. I really do. And I try to be understanding. But when I post the status, send the text, tweet, whatever...I brace myself.
It's annoying because I'm allergic to some of the adhesives they use for the leads for the holter monitor. Which means 24 hours of itchy. Yay.
But if I've learned anything by meeting CHD'ers on the internet it's that I have it really good. It's been almost 20 years since my last open-heart surgery with only minor complications since then. I've gotten off relatively easy. I understand that I'm one of the few that's kept consistent contact with good medical care. It's paid off. I do have a hole in my heart, but it's not a big deal and doesn't seem to be anything to worry about anytime soon. I'm truly blessed and truly have nothing to complain about.
But when has that ever stopped me???
So what's the deal? Every adult CHD'er (CHD = Congenital Heart Defect for those that don't know) will tell you the same thing I'm sure. Going to the heart doc is annoying. I work with around 50 people. I can think of only two others that work here who have standing appointments with a cardiologist and they're men in their 50's/60's. Although now that I'm less than 6 months away from 40 I'm starting to fit into the right age group. It's fun trying to explain to people why you're going to a heart doc when you're 25 - "Are you waiting on your grandfather?" "No, I'm here to see the doc." "But you're way to young for that." "No, trust me, I'm getting way to old for this. It was much easier when I was 5". Because lets face it. When you're 5 the heart doc has toys to play with while you wait. I mean come on!
It's annoying because if I tell my family I have a heart doc appointment I get "Gasp! I hope everything's OKAY!" It is. It's been okay for years now. Please don't worry. But they do. Parents, aunts, uncles, cousins...they were there. They remember the days when we were all fighting for my life. They remember the tears, the prayers, the hopes, the wishes. And then there's the brothers who all they've ever known is a sister with heart problems. So it instills fear in them to hear I'm headed to the heart doc. But then there's the new family. My husband and his family. All they've ever known is that I have heart problems, but other than 3 days in the hospital 5 years ago they haven't really seen it manifested so...."Do we worry? What's going on? Is something wrong?" No, it's just what I need to do. And the flip side of all of this is if I keep it to myself that I'm going for a check-up then I get. "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US???" So I kinda can't win here. And I get both sides of that coin. I really do. And I try to be understanding. But when I post the status, send the text, tweet, whatever...I brace myself.
It's annoying because I'm allergic to some of the adhesives they use for the leads for the holter monitor. Which means 24 hours of itchy. Yay.
But if I've learned anything by meeting CHD'ers on the internet it's that I have it really good. It's been almost 20 years since my last open-heart surgery with only minor complications since then. I've gotten off relatively easy. I understand that I'm one of the few that's kept consistent contact with good medical care. It's paid off. I do have a hole in my heart, but it's not a big deal and doesn't seem to be anything to worry about anytime soon. I'm truly blessed and truly have nothing to complain about.
But when has that ever stopped me???
Monday, November 22, 2010
The Most Organized Thanksgiving Ever...
Secondary title - When did I become my grandmothers???
I can't say that I've always been the most organized person when it comes to the holidays. Anything worth doing is worth doing at the last minute is generally my motto. And this is probably really only my 3rd or 4th holiday with all the family coming to my house for dinner. So I feel like I'm way ahead of the learning curve.
Before Thanksgiving, I had to make sure the following things were accomplished:
1) Decide what the heck we're going to eat.
2) Let everyone know what we're going to eat and what all the girls need to bring.
3) Clean out my dining room which is currently the granddaughters' play room so we can put an actual table in it.
4) Do the shopping for the food that I'm cooking.
5) Clean house.
6) Cook.
On that list, I have managed to...
Are you ready for it???
Wait for it...
Do all but #'s 5 and 6.
And actually I'm ahead of the game on #5 because I did quite a bit of cleaning this week-end, but I still have to live in my house between now and Thursday so I'm sure I'll have a couple of things to do on Wednesday. And I do have to go to the store either tonight or tomorrow and get a couple of things that I forgot. But no trying to push a cart around on Wednesday night after frantically cleaning all day and hoping beyond hope that there is still one ham that will feed 8 adults and 4 children while trying to figure out if I want to bake all my desserts or just buy them frozen and hope they thaw out in time for us to be able to eat them with forks and not chainsaws after dinner.
So instead of looking at my day off on Wednesday with little panic attacks wondering what in the heck I was doing agreeing to have Thanksgiving at my house this year. I'm actually pretty chilled out.
This can mean only one thing. Some crazy flu, virus, cold, something is going to hit and I'll be trying to cook with 102 degree fever.
Wish me luck!!
I can't say that I've always been the most organized person when it comes to the holidays. Anything worth doing is worth doing at the last minute is generally my motto. And this is probably really only my 3rd or 4th holiday with all the family coming to my house for dinner. So I feel like I'm way ahead of the learning curve.
Before Thanksgiving, I had to make sure the following things were accomplished:
1) Decide what the heck we're going to eat.
2) Let everyone know what we're going to eat and what all the girls need to bring.
3) Clean out my dining room which is currently the granddaughters' play room so we can put an actual table in it.
4) Do the shopping for the food that I'm cooking.
5) Clean house.
6) Cook.
On that list, I have managed to...
Are you ready for it???
Wait for it...
Do all but #'s 5 and 6.
And actually I'm ahead of the game on #5 because I did quite a bit of cleaning this week-end, but I still have to live in my house between now and Thursday so I'm sure I'll have a couple of things to do on Wednesday. And I do have to go to the store either tonight or tomorrow and get a couple of things that I forgot. But no trying to push a cart around on Wednesday night after frantically cleaning all day and hoping beyond hope that there is still one ham that will feed 8 adults and 4 children while trying to figure out if I want to bake all my desserts or just buy them frozen and hope they thaw out in time for us to be able to eat them with forks and not chainsaws after dinner.
So instead of looking at my day off on Wednesday with little panic attacks wondering what in the heck I was doing agreeing to have Thanksgiving at my house this year. I'm actually pretty chilled out.
This can mean only one thing. Some crazy flu, virus, cold, something is going to hit and I'll be trying to cook with 102 degree fever.
Wish me luck!!
Friday, October 22, 2010
Gratitude
One of the principles of recovery in 12 step programs is gratitude. Primarily that gratitude isn't a feeling...it's an action. At least, that's what has been true for me. And we're coming up to November which is always considered "Gratitude Month" because of "Thanksgiving" and that's when you should be grateful. Which has always ticked me off. "Gratitude Month" should be turned into "Gratitude Friday at 4:30 am because I woke up from a dream and realized that I'm nice and cozy in my bed instead of out on the streets." or "Gratitude Wednesday at noon because the husband grilled cheeseburgers for lunch." or "Gratitude Saturday morning because even though I have a migraine...I still have medicine and it will go away." My focus should always be on gratitude and my question should always be...how can I pay it back?
Today was a great example. I'm grateful for the freedoms afforded me by our military. Our men and women who give up homes, families, friends and comfort to go to the most horrible places on earth and fight for our freedom. Because of my medical history it was never possible for me to become one of those people. The most I have had to sacrifice was quite a few sleepless nights when my baby brother was in the Army and serving in Kosovo. I haven't had to watch a child or spouse or parent go. But I can express my gratitude. I have the freedom to whine, complain and gripe about my country...and I have the freedom to say that in spite of our flaws, in spite of what we do to each other, in spite of the economy, we are the best country in the world. Now how do I pay it back? I voted. I took 15 minutes out of my day and I let my voice be heard. Will it matter? I don't know. But I did it. I encourage everyone who reads my blog (all both of you) to take the time out of your lives to go vote and let your voice be heard.
Another thing that has struck me this week is that I'm so very grateful for my job. I don't always love it. It's not always easy. But I have one. And for the most part it rocks. This week I've gotten a couple of opportunities to be of service outside of the 40 hour work week. It's Spirit Week...where the three classes of students compete against each other in different things. I got to be a judge this year. It's an honor to be asked. All I am is a little ol' school secretary. But I got the opportunity to interact with the kids and I had a blast. Now...no, I did not love the pumpkin and coconut milkshake (seriously? yuck) and I sure didn't love sticking my hand in a pile of stink bait to get the dead fish with the key tied to it. But for the most part it was a great night and I can't wait to do it again.
And finally, there's my family. I'm grateful for every single one of them. My life is richer for having all of them. The parents, the grandparents, the brothers, the kids, the grandkids, the aunts and uncles, the cousins, the steps, the in-laws and the out-laws. I don't do nearly enough to show my gratitude for them. I still spend way too much time worrying about who is doing what for me instead of what I can do for them. But I'm trying...
And I would have none of it without my Higher Power - God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Thank you.
Today was a great example. I'm grateful for the freedoms afforded me by our military. Our men and women who give up homes, families, friends and comfort to go to the most horrible places on earth and fight for our freedom. Because of my medical history it was never possible for me to become one of those people. The most I have had to sacrifice was quite a few sleepless nights when my baby brother was in the Army and serving in Kosovo. I haven't had to watch a child or spouse or parent go. But I can express my gratitude. I have the freedom to whine, complain and gripe about my country...and I have the freedom to say that in spite of our flaws, in spite of what we do to each other, in spite of the economy, we are the best country in the world. Now how do I pay it back? I voted. I took 15 minutes out of my day and I let my voice be heard. Will it matter? I don't know. But I did it. I encourage everyone who reads my blog (all both of you) to take the time out of your lives to go vote and let your voice be heard.
Another thing that has struck me this week is that I'm so very grateful for my job. I don't always love it. It's not always easy. But I have one. And for the most part it rocks. This week I've gotten a couple of opportunities to be of service outside of the 40 hour work week. It's Spirit Week...where the three classes of students compete against each other in different things. I got to be a judge this year. It's an honor to be asked. All I am is a little ol' school secretary. But I got the opportunity to interact with the kids and I had a blast. Now...no, I did not love the pumpkin and coconut milkshake (seriously? yuck) and I sure didn't love sticking my hand in a pile of stink bait to get the dead fish with the key tied to it. But for the most part it was a great night and I can't wait to do it again.
And finally, there's my family. I'm grateful for every single one of them. My life is richer for having all of them. The parents, the grandparents, the brothers, the kids, the grandkids, the aunts and uncles, the cousins, the steps, the in-laws and the out-laws. I don't do nearly enough to show my gratitude for them. I still spend way too much time worrying about who is doing what for me instead of what I can do for them. But I'm trying...
And I would have none of it without my Higher Power - God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Thank you.
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