Time

I looked at the calendar this morning and had two thoughts.

1) Where the heck did the first two months of the year go?

and

2) Spring break in two weeks.  Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the passing of time has actually been on my mind a lot lately.  I'll be 40 in 36 days.  Wow.  Just...wow.  4 decades.  I was born during the Vietnam War.  I was a child during the bell bottom era.  (I had a pink pantsuit that I loved because it was just like Marie Osmond.  I know, right?)  I was a teenager in the 80's.  I seriously wanted Cyndi Lauper's hair.  Sorry Dad.  I was a young adult during the 90's.  Bill Clinton taught us how to use semantics in sticky situations.  Then in my 30's we got Bin Laden, 9/11 and Iraq and Afghanistan.  It'll be interesting to see what my 40's and the Teens will bring. 

Then I look at my own personal numbers.  20 years since my last open-heart surgery.  22 years since my first Al-Anon meeting.  15 1/2 years sober.  My oldest nephew is 17.  My oldest niece will be 17 on Monday.  My husband and I have been together for 10 years this coming May.  Married for 6 years this coming June.  Mom has been gone for 8 years this coming April.  My oldest granddaughter will be 6 in July. 

So what's the story with all this?  I have had the greatest joys and the deepest of sorrows. I've climbed mountains and I've dug myself out of valleys.  I've had times of comforting faith and other times of serious doubts. 

And the rest of the story is...I will have more greatest joys and deepest sorrows.  I'll climb more mountains and there will be more valleys.  I will have more times of comforting faith and more times of serious doubts.  And it will all be okay.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 - There is an appointed time for everything .  And there is a time for every event under heaven--

Un-freaking-believable

Sometimes life is just weird. 

Before my mom passed away she spent the week-end with me and one of the things we did was discussed music.  Primarily James Taylor. She made a tape for me and one of the songs she included was "Fire and Rain".  She included it because I like it and even though she wasn't a big fan of it, she knew I liked it so it was her "present" to me on the tape.  So since she's passed, there have been times when that song plays that I just knew she was "playing" it for me.....like the time I was passing through the town she was born in and it started playing on the radio. It was a total "Hi mom!" moment.

Tonight, I absolutely should not be listening to the radio.  I was home and intended to stay there until I got a call from the electric company saying my bill hasn't been paid yet.  Which, it so totally has.  So after I call the electric company and inform them that not only did I pay $400 and something in cash...I even have a receipt for it.  So they're like "oh sure, no problem, just fax us the receipt".  So I leave the house in search of a fax machine.

I'm listening to the radio on the way to the fax and they're doing this weird story about how streaming funerals on the internet is the new greatest thing.  I don't get it, but I could see the benefit for a soldier in Afghanistan who can't get home to attend a funeral or something like that.  But they said that one benefit is that you're in such a fog at a loved one's funeral that you can go back and watch the funeral again later.

Um...no.

The fact that my mom's funeral is one big blur is one of God's greatest blessings to me.  I don't want to go back and watch it and relive the stupid thing.  I'm great with it being a fog of grief and despair.  I'm good with it being in the past.  Thankyouverymuch!!!  The second I have that thought.

Cue "Fire and Rain"...

Hi Mom and ha ha....

Water, Snow, Death....and Awesomeness

It has been one heck of a week. 

Starting last Thursday, we've had issues with water.  I go home and get ready to wash my dirty dishes....and it seemed like it was every dish in my house that was dirty.  I turn on the water and...nothing.  No water.  We live in the country and we have a well.  Earlier that day I was bragging about how much I love having a well.  The water is so much better than city water.  It's just a wonderful thing to have. I'm bragging no more.  The darling husband got a part to try to fix it on Friday, got it installed and still...no water.  We spent the entire week-end going to my step-sons house to take baths and do laundry.  I should have some pretty awesome muscles from hauling 5 and 6 gallon water jugs around.  I even got to look really tough and wash dishes by boiling water.  But by Monday, I was over it.  Luckily, our well was fixed by Monday morning. 

Because Monday ushered in the great snow storm of 2011 bringing with it multiple days of sub-freezing temperatures.  I live in West Texas.  Winter is several months of 50-60 degree weather with a couple of hours of snow thrown in every once in awhile.  The old saying is if you don't like the weather in West Texas wait five minutes and it'll change.  So, um, it's been 5 minutes.  You can change now.  Monday night I went to the grocery store and got what we needed to be hunkered down and not leave the house for several days, because surely the school would close.  I brought the dog and her 2 day old puppies in the house, we wrapped faucets, etc.  We were READY.  Until I got up the next morning because we were only on a 2 hour delay because of the snow, took a shower, got conditioner in my hair and then the pipes froze.  I had already had 5 days of no water, I had conditioner in my hair and I thought I had to be at work in an hour.  Cue the hysterics.  Poor hubby, he thought I had lost my mind.  Then it was several hours of running around in a knit cap trying to get water back on.  Thank goodness school was canceled.  Unfortunately, it wasn't canceled yesterday or today.  The water has been back on for the most part and my hair is now super soft.  But I am so stinkin' ready for the temps to go above freezing.  The high has been 17 the last couple of days.  17 isn't a temperature, it's the age you get to see R rated movies.  And oh, by the way, people who live in colder climates are absolutely insane.  Just saying.

I got introduced to a new migraine trigger...extreme cold. 

Now the hard part.  When I moved here, I started seeing the chiropractor that my husband has known for years.  Wonderful man, crazy sense of humor, devoted to Christ, mission worker, loved by everyone he ever met and loved everyone he ever met.  He's been battling cancer for awhile now.  It was announced last week that he was finished battling and was just going to let it take it's course.  The battle officially ended yesterday.  My tears are pure selfishness.  He's home.  And it was a joyous occasion in heaven when he arrived and started giving the angels a hard time.  I guarantee they haven't stopped laughing since he got there.  Then I got a call from my step-dad.  Actually, since he and my mom divorced, she married someone else, then passed away and he married someone else, he's probably no longer technically my step-dad, but he's still my family.  His brother passed away last week-end.  Holy freaking crap people.  Two in one day???  That's a little much, don't you think?  He lived with my mom and step-dad for several years and he and my mom were partners in crime.  She was there to welcome him and I'm sure they're having a great time now.  Again, my tears are pure selfishness.  He's home, too.  And he missed my mom terribly.  With two funerals to attend this week-end, I'm predicting a difficult one.  But it'll be okay.

Now the awesomeness.  I've been out of touch with my baby brother for quite some time.  There's been some peripheral contact through his wife on Facebook, but when I tried to get a number, my timing was way off.  It was in the middle of her sister getting married and I think my message got lost in the shuffle.  Anyway, he and my step-dad keep in contact and while talking to my step-dad I got his phone numbers.  So now my two brothers and I are all back in touch again.  My heart hurts without them.  I've been doing a happy dance since yesterday. 

Life is never all good, and it's never all bad, but it's always all there. 

Oh and if anybody wants a blue heeler/neighborhood black dog mix puppy, I have six.  One of them is named Emo, because he's always doing exactly the opposite of his brothers and sisters and is crying all the time.