Everything I learned about being a "step"

I've recently found out that as my step-mom puts it I'm going to be a "bonus" aunt in May.  My step-brother is going to be a first time dad which I think is really, really cool.  We've been part of the same family for a quarter of a century and while we've never lived in the same house or the same town for that matter, this new baby-to-be-named-later is already part of my heart as much as my brother's baby-to-be-named-later that is due in May, too.  I mean, the aunt in me is doing major inner cartwheels because I have two babies coming at almost the same time next year.  And my heart doesn't differentiate between the two. 

And I got to thinking about why that is. 

My parents divorced when I was 8 and while dad dated some, he waited about 6 years before getting remarried.  Mom, however, eventually married 5 more times.  Step-dad #1 is the father of my youngest brother and really and truly did the best he could with two ready made kids, a baby and a wife that really wasn't interested in being married to anybody.  When mom left instead of calling my dad and saying "come get these brats" he took care of us just like we were his own until Dad found out and came and got us.  I think losing us was harder than losing mom when it was all said and done.  Step-dad #3 wasn't all that great, but his mom was wonderful and she spent just as much time and energy on her three step-grandkids as she did on her "real" grandkids.  I remember being at the store with her and her seeing something in June that would make a great Christmas present for one of my brothers that she would get right then and save.  We were always on her mind and in her heart.  Step-dad #4 came to my wedding a couple years after my mom died. 

Then there's my step-mom and her mom.  I have the absolute best step-mom in the history of the world.  No question.  I will never be as great at being a step-mom as she is.  The one thing that made it easier when my mom died is that I still have my step-mom.  I'm not motherless by any stretch of the imagination.  She's the lady that when I had my hysterectomy sat by my bed and worked on her needlepoint.  She didn't push me to do anything, she didn't force me to try to talk, she didn't try to take over my healing process.  She was present.  When they had to start an iv for the 15 billionth time, she held my hand.  When my ex-sister-in-law completely broke my heart, my step-mom was the one to call and let me vent and let me know that I wasn't alone in feeling that my ex-sister-in-law was out of line.  And her example has been phenomenal.  She loves every single one of my nieces and nephews as much as she's going to love her sons baby.  Her mom is the one who has never missed a birthday or Christmas.  I still cherish the afghan she made me years ago.  I consider her my last living grandparent.  Because she is. 

I have two step-children.  They have spouses and between them I have four precious grandbabies.  They are my world.  And if I'm even half of the step-mom/grandmother/aunt that my steps have been to me then I will consider myself a success.